


Handling The Joker Handbook

by gemmywrites



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, I’ll add tags as I go, M/M, Multiple Personalities, but different variations of himself, like he’s always joker, not actually multiple personalities
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-08 04:39:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15235539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gemmywrites/pseuds/gemmywrites
Summary: Gotham views The Joker as one thing: a homicidal maniac who deserves to either die, or be locked away forever. Bruce knows that he’s more than that. After years of fighting The Joker, it’s inevitable that Bruce would learn a thing or two about him, but never in his wildest dreams did Bruce think that he’d have the other man figured out to such an extent.





	1. Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll be updating the characters and tags as i go, i've been thinking about writing this for a long time so i figured there's no better time to do it than now
> 
> after this intro it will get less informational and more in your feels

After years of fighting The Joker, it’s inevitable that Bruce would learn a thing or two about him. But never in his wildest dreams did Bruce think that he’d have the other man figured out to such an extent. 

Gotham views The Joker as one thing: a homicidal maniac who deserves to either die, or be locked away forever. Bruce knows that he’s more than that.

Apart from their more violent encounters, Bruce would grudgingly admit that he spends more time with The Joker than the public would deem acceptable. And when Bruce isn’t busy keeping the clown from committing mass murder, he’s quite interesting to observe. 

In the beginning, Bruce thought that maybe, eventually, he’d turn in his findings to GCPD or Arkham Asylum. After all, it’d be very beneficial if the doctors could finally figure out how to effectively treat their most complicated patient. But then, Bruce’s relationship with Joker... changed. If he revealed what he’d learned, they’d ask how he learned what he did, and some of his evidence couldn’t be written about. 

_Entry 001:_

__

__

_The Joker has many different moods, or personas, that he can fall into at any given time. It doesn’t seem like he has control of which one he is in._

The only reason Bruce had even discovered this was because Joker had switched personas right before his eyes. Even now, months after Bruce had first made this realization, this encounter remains the rarest thing he’s ever experienced. Joker didn’t just switch between two personas, he switched between three in the course of a few minutes.

It started as another dance. A few punches were thrown over top of chemical vats, the only thing separating them from most likely death was a metal walkway.

Something was different this time, The Joker really wasn't playing around. In the beginning he was laughing, playfully. Then, right in front of Bruce's eyes, his mood shifted.

It was full of rage, and pure hatred.

The Joker was really going for it this time. He slashed and stabbed at Batman with his knife, the gun he'd been using had been knocked out of his hands long ago.

Batman really thought The Joker was going to kill him when he hit the ground, the only thing saving him from bathing in chemicals were the railings.

"Looks like I gotcha this time, Bats." The Joker grinned, but it was venomous. He quickly picked up the gun from the walkway and aimed it at Batman.

The vigilante didn't dare move as The Joker did a little dance, except it was more mocking than playful. It was only then did he realize how close to the end of the walkway they were. The Joker threw the arm not holding the gun out in a grand gesture, taking a step backwards. Except there wasn't anywhere for his foot to land.

The madman was pulled down by gravity and unbalancedness, he could hear the wind rushing around him.

"I'm falling!" The maniac shouted, suddenly sounding panicked and he twisted through the air.

He looked up, and saw Batman diving down to save him.

The vigilante couldn't let him fall, not again.

He saw true fear in The Joker's eyes.

His body slammed into The Joker's as his grapple hooked onto the floor of the walkway above them. He had one arm wrapped around The Joker, but if he let go The Joker would probably be fine with how tightly he was grabbing onto him. He wasn't going to test the theory.

"Ok. I'm holding on. You can grapple us up now." The Joker said, but he wasn't paying any attention to Batman. He was staring at the chemicals below him. He watched as he soared farther away  
from the cause of his appearance.

The grapple shot them both up onto the walkway, The Joker landing on top of Batman. He didn't linger long, climbing off quickly, and Batman noticed his strange behavior.

"Whew! That could have gotten ugly! Glad to see you're putting that grapple to good use, Batsy." The Joker laughed as Batman stood up.

"It's time for you to go back to Arkham." Batman stated, grabbing The Joker's arm and leading him out of Ace Chemicals.

"I don't really think I want to!" The Joker protested, trying to pull his arm away.

"It's a good thing you don't have a choice, then." Batman said in a tone that ended the conversation, and The Joker knew it.

The rest of the walk back to the Batmobile was silent, and Batman let go of Joker's arm once he stopped having to drag him. Finally, they reached the Batmobile, and Batman opened the door, ready to throw The Joker inside. His plans changed when The Joker did something quite unexpected.

The madman was staring at his reflection in the window, and his hands reached up to shakily touch his face.

"M-my face." The Joker whispered in horror, but he didn't sound like himself. He reached up to touch his green hair, and back down to his white skin. "My face!"

"Joker..?" Batman said softly, confused. Was the madman playing him? Trying to make him feel guilty?

He placed a hand on his shoulder and turned him around. The Joker jumped in fright and tried to back away, only succeeding in backing into the Batmobile.

"Get away from me!" The Joker almost screamed, putting his hands in front of his face defensively.

Batman grabbed his wrists, forcing The Joker to look at him.

"Joker, what's wrong with you?" He asked, losing part of his Batman voice for a moment of pure curiosity. "It's me... Bats..?"

Something he said must have struck a chord in The Joker's mind, the horrified look on his face drawn away.

"Bats? What're you, trying to take advantage of me, eh?" The Joker grinned, pulling his wrists away from Batman. "At least take me out to dinner first!" He sighed dramatically. "What's a girl to do?"

"Be quiet." Batman mentally rolled his eyes, shoving The Joker into the Batmobile and reaching over the man to buckle (lock) him in.

What just happened?

He walked around and sat down in the driver's seat, already having to slap The Joker's hand away from a button.

"Don't touch anything! You know the rules." He reprimanded, taking off down the road.

"Rules are so boring! C'mon, Batsy, Baby, just unlock my seatbelt and we can have some fun." The Joker teased, leaning towards Batman as much as he could. "We could cuddle, it'll be real nice."

Bruce shoved him back into his seat.

After that, Bruce was more interested in Joker than he’d ever been before. He established that Joker had at least three different personas, which he’d quickly named Typical, Deadly, and Original.  
The names were definitely something Joker wouldn’t approve of, nothing flashy or extra about them, just straight to the point. They did the job for Bruce.

_Entry 002:_

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_Typical - The Joker’s everyday attitude. Dangerous and violent with his flare of “humor”._  
_Deadly - Legitimately homicidal, only goal is to kill Batman, and will not hesitate to given the chance. Rare._  
_Original - A man seconds away from a psychotic break, triggered by experiencing the traumatic event over again. Extremely rare, hardly ever seen._

Bruce simply wanted to study the clown. He didn’t expect the reveal of even more personas to change his perception of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you see potential feel free to give this a comment or a kudos!


	2. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce wants more information, but he only receives reason to be even more confused.

After the incident at Ace Chemicals, Joker stayed put in Arkham Asylum for a two months. His obedience raised suspicion in Bruce to say the least. Normally Joker would only tolerate being in the asylum for a few weeks at best, or even less time if the chance to escape came easily. Although his job would be a whole lot easier if the criminals he captured actually _stayed in jail_ , he knew that would never be the case, especially with The Joker. Which is why when Joker finally escaped from Arkham, Bruce wasn’t surprised. What alarmed him was the fact that there was no big explosion from the side of the building, and no bat-signal shining bright in the sky to alert him of trouble. He’d found out about Joker’s escape with the rest of Gotham, when it was the headline in the news the next day. 

It seemed as if Joker had fallen off the face of the earth. There had been no sightings of the clown, and not a single crime from the night he escaped could be traced back to him. As far as Bruce and the rest of Gotham knew, The Joker had slipped through Arkham Asylum’s hands and was now lurking somewhere in Gotham. 

Word that Joker was back in town had Gothamites panicking, and that night Bruce decided he’d pay Arkham Asylum a visit. 

It was easy to get into the asylum, one look at Batman marching up to the gates had the guards practically jumping out of their skin and hurriedly opening the front doors. Bruce didn’t spare either of them a glance, and once inside he beelined straight for Joker’s cell. 

The frantic clacking of dress shoes on tile flooring grew in pace and volume as they rushed towards Batman. Bruce turned, but only slightly, to see Warden Sharp scurrying towards him. The man poured out words of apology at an impressive rate, but Bruce tuned him out as he surveyed Joker’s open cell. 

No sign of forced entry or exit. Everything inside the cell was perfectly intact. The only reasonable explanation for Joker’s escape was that someone turned the key and let him out. 

“He never stopped talking about you,” That piece of information didn’t surprise Bruce, he knew the clown had formed some sick type of special relationship between them in his head. “But every time he did it was different.”

That part caught his attention. 

“What do you mean?” Bruce finally spoke, turning to give the warden his full attention. The other man seemed to shrink under his gaze. 

“Sometimes he’d talk about you normally, I don’t know if you’re aware but he thinks you two are connected in a very special way. But other times it’s like he thinks of you as nothing more than his next target, like his only goal is to kill you. I’ve never seen him filled with so much rage.” The warden’s eyes shifted from Batman to the bars on the door of the cell. “He’d scream over and over again about how he had to let him out. How he had to finish you.” 

A spark lit inside Bruce’s mind. This had to have been similar to what he’d saw in The Joker at Ace Chemicals. 

The first thought that popped into Bruce’s head was to find Joker. If he found Joker, he could get answers. Answers about how he got out without a trace, and answers to why he’s been acting so erratically. 

“I’m done here.” Bruce grunted, his cape swirling around him as he turns and walks out the way he came. He didn’t hear the warden’s shoes on the floor, but he could feel eyes on him as he left. 

Bruce patrolled normally that night, but he kept an ear open for news about clown-specific activity. When the night began to turn into morning, Bruce grew worried. The Joker was good at hiding.  
If he didn’t want to be found, he could stay off the grid for months until he was ready to put on a show. As he hopped into the Batmobile, Bruce wondered how in the world he was going to find the clown. Joker hadn’t given him any leads, Bruce would have to start with previous locations he’s found Joker at and work from there. But that tactic might as well be the same as finding a needle in a haystack. Joker rarely stayed in the same place twice. 

Bruce sped off down the street, swerving between lanes to return to the cave quickly. He wanted to start looking for Joker as soon as possible. As the car sped around the block, Bruce caught a glimpse of Wayne Manor. Normally Bruce would take one look and keep driving, but the figure walking down the sidewalk in front of his house was unmistakable. Bruce switched the car to automatic before ejecting himself into the air, landing on top of a nearby building as the car screeched to a halt below him. The man didn’t seem to notice all the noise from the street over, and continued to stroll past Wayne Manor. Bruce dropped silently behind him. 

“Joker.” Bruce announced his presence after the clown had taken a few more steps away from him. He was tense, ready to defend himself if The Joker was going to try to murder him on the spot. 

The clown stopped, pausing for a moment, before turning around slowly on his heels. A smile was already plastered to his face from the moment he heard Bruce’s voice. He was already dressed in the full get-up: a perfectly tailored purple suit, red lipstick, and a cane with a jester’s hat on top. Bruce tried not to wonder how he looked so exceptional every time.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite brooding bat!” The Joker’s smile spread impossibly wider as his eyes slid up and down Bruce’s armored body. “What can I do for you on this fine evening?”

Bruce ignored the fact that it was actually around 5 am. 

“Arkham is missing you.” 

Joker sighs at Bruce’s words, switching his cane to his left hand. Electric green eyes meet Bruce’s, but they seem… softer. 

“I’m really not looking for trouble tonight, my dear.” Joker takes a step forward. “I was quite sick of Arkham so I figured I’d take a nice stroll. But, I was hoping I’d bump into you.” 

“Then why are you outside Wayne Manor?” Bruce can’t stop himself from asking. Why would Joker think he could find Batman here? Did he know?

The Joker giggled. 

“Well to tell you the truth, Batsy, I might have a bit of a crush on the man who lives here.” The clown smiled before erupting with laughter, and Bruce wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. Joker continued laughing far past what could be considered normal, and Bruce had the urge to grab the man by his suit and shake all the laughter out of him. “Do you think he’d ever invite me to one of his galas?” 

_Never_ , Bruce wanted to say, but he knew if he spoke for Wayne it’d be suspicious. By now The Joker was done laughing, and instead was completely silent, watching for any sort of reaction noticeable despite the cowl. Bruce kept a straight face, but the look in Joker’s eyes made it seem like he knew something. What he knew, Bruce didn’t know. 

“Oh, don’t be so jealous, Bats!” Joker breaks the silence and grins, leaning forward on his cane. “You know you’ll always be my number one.” 

“You’re going back to Arkham.” Bruce doesn’t know what else to say, but he refuses to be made uncomfortable by the other man. 

“But I want to spend more time with you.” Joker frowns momentarily, pouting just for show. It doesn’t last for long because he soon breaks character and giggles again. 

Joker winks and Bruce decides that he’s _done_. He hates when The Joker flirts with him. He hates that he knows Joker means every word he says. 

Bruce advances towards him, but the clown sees his actions coming from a mile away. Joker reaches into his coat before Bruce can lay a hand on him, pulling out a playing card and flicking it towards Bruce. He falls back immediately, thinking it could be more dangerous than a typical card. The card flutters to the ground after flicking Bruce in the chest, the jester on the card grinning up at him. Joker had turned and ran, long legs carrying him easily as he disappeared around the manor. Bruce cursed himself for falling for one of Joker’s tricks and took off after him. 

By the time Bruce rounds the corner, The Joker is gone. 

He stalks back to the car. He wants to punch something, wants to punch himself, for being so easily affected by Joker. Bruce expected to be jumping into a fight right away from how Joker had been acting in Arkham. But seeing him on the street… he was completely different. More like himself but _less violent_ , if that was even possible. Joker had never gone out of his way to flirt with Batman before, usually he had some sort of scheme to go along with their interactions. And Joker hadn’t even done anything remotely violent, not even to break out of Arkham Asylum. He merely distracted Bruce in order to get away. 

_Why_ did he just let the clown get away? 

Bruce wants to punch himself again. He had no information, only increased reason to be even more confused. Was this another persona, or was Joker going the long run for a more elaborate scheme than Bruce could comprehend? 

It wasn’t long after Bruce had made it to the car that Alfred contacted him, inquiring on why he’d just seen Batman and The Joker having a conversation outside Wayne Manor. 

Bruce decided he’d had enough for one night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry... soon bruce will learn what he wants to know and then some


	3. Paranoia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Joker's words haunt Bruce when it's time for his annual gala.

Bruce stands tall, admiring his reflection in the mirror. He was hosting a gala tonight, the annual time when more rich people than he cared to see occupied his manor. He straightens his tie and sorts through his thoughts, mentally preparing to become the sophisticated playboy Gotham thought he was. 

_“Do you think he’d ever invite me to one of his galas?”_

Bruce frowns as The Joker’s words worm their way to the front of his mind. Would he actually show up? If he did, what would he have planned? Joker did say he had a crush on him, but Bruce didn’t know if that meant the clown would refrain from harming him. 

Bruce’s frown deepened. If his own safety isn't guaranteed, how could he guarantee Alfred’s? As if on cue, a light knock sounded upon Bruce’s door. 

“Master Wayne?” Alfred called out softly, “Your guests have begun to arrive.”

Bruce strides over to the door and opens it smoothly, revealing Alfred waiting patiently on the other side. The older man’s demeanor shifts when he sees Bruce’s expression. 

“What’s the matter?” He inquires, taking in Bruce’s form. “Nothing too serious, I hope.”

“Actually, Alfred, it is.” Bruce tenses up, deciding to deliver the news outright. “I have a strong suspicion that The Joker is going to be attending the gala.”

Alfred’s eyebrows jumped up to his forehead, taking a small step back. Bruce continued.

“He hinted at taking a liking to Bruce Wayne. I don’t know what that means as far as how he’s going to behave, but I won’t allow you to be in danger because of me. I need you to leave.”

“Bruce, I wo-” Alfred strongly protests, stepping forward to his previous spot and clenching his fists.

“Just for tonight.” Bruce raises a hand, trying to placate the man. “I know how you feel about me asking you to go away, even if it is for your own safety. But tonight I won’t be able to look out for you as long as I have to host the gala. I have no idea if Joker knows about you or not but I wouldn’t put it past him. Please, Alfred. Just one night, you can stay in a nice hotel.” 

Alfred sighs. 

“Just for one night.” 

\---

Bruce felt much better with Alfred out of the house. Keeping an eye out for The Joker would be much easier when he didn’t feel the need to also keep an eye on Alfred. 

About an hour had passed since the official start of the gala when Bruce decided it was time to finally make an appearance. While straightening his tux, Bruce glided down the stairs that led to the grand hall in the front of the manor. Several pairs of eyes fell upon him immediately, and Bruce felt them stick until he reached the bottom of the staircase and disappeared into the crowd. 

He smiles as he strolls through the party, carefully looking at each face to make sure The Joker wasn’t somehow blending in. He’d made it about halfway through, but every non-suspicious face he saw only made him more on edge. At any moment, he could spot the Joker. At any moment, The Joker could set off a bomb in his house, and Bruce wouldn’t stand a chance in this four piece suit. 

“Bruce Wayne.” A voice purrs, followed by a hand snaking around his arm and turning him around. 

He suppresses the small jolt that coursed through him. Bruce wants to frown when he sees the female who had grabbed his arm, but forces on a friendly smile. He casually removes his arm from her grip and greets her. 

“Hi, enjoying the gala?” Bruce repeats his lines like a wind-up toy. 

“Of course, your house is amazing. The rich people, however..” She smirks and tries to meet Bruce’s eyes. “They don’t have the same wow-factor.”

“Not even one of them?” Bruce takes the bait, allowing himself to truly look at the person in front of him instead of pseudo-casually scanning the crowd. 

The woman grins when Bruce finally starts playing along. 

“I’m Victoria Vale.”

“Nice to-” The phrase drops dead in Bruce’s mouth when he’s see’s a flash of purple duck out of his peripheral vision. “Please, excuse me.” 

Bruce is cutting through the crowd before Victoria can even protest, desperately searching in the direction he saw the flash of color disappear towards. He’s like a machine, spewing out apologies left and right as he maneuvers past his guests. Bruce is sure he has to be gaining on whoever was wearing that suit, but instead of finding anything, he bursts out through the other side of the crowd. 

There was no one. 

\---

Donning a kevlar suit always felt more natural than putting on any formal cashmere suit. After all of his guests had cleared out of the mansion, Bruce had raced down to the Batcave. It felt like the elevator had moved slower than ever before. 

Joker hadn’t shown himself at the event. Bruce didn’t have a clue if his absence was supposed to mean something or not, and not knowing scared him. Paranoid was an understatement. Not for his own wellbeing, but for those around him. What if Joker had known that Bruce would force Alfred out for the night, and now had Alfred captive at his hotel? 

Bruce didn’t feel like he was the one in control. 

He soared through Gotham city and searched for a pale man decorated in purple and green. 

It didn’t take long for the clown to be spotted. In fact, it appeared he _wanted_ to be found. Watching Joker jump and dance -to no music- from the rooftops only made Bruce want to punch him. But he technically hadn’t done anything deserving of it tonight. Yet. 

Bruce landed effortlessly behind Joker, standing still as Joker dramatically spun around to greet him. The moment the clown laid eyes on him, a smile spread across his face. 

“My bat!” He skipped forward, careful not to cross The Bats “personal space line”, but edging close enough to push it. 

Bruce is already over the flirting. 

“It’s a fine night, isn’t it, Darling?” Joker speaks first, and Bruce swears he only adds in the pet names to be as obnoxious as possible. 

“What are you doing out here, Joker?” Bruce ignores Joker’s attempt at a conversation starter. He doesn’t have the patience for games.

“I’m just having fun.” Joker shrugs cheekily, and his eyes flash with excitement as he takes another step forward. “Even more fun now that you’re here.”

Joker reaches up to place his right hand on Bruce’s armored chest, but before he can make contact Bruce grabs his wrist tightly. 

“Ouch.” Joker hisses, violently jerking his arm in an attempt to escape Bruce’s grasp. 

They struggle for a moment, Joker pulling away while Bruce glares down at him like a gargoyle. The clown is never one to back down from a challenge, and holds the eye contact. His mouth twists into a frown, gritting his teeth from the vice-like grip Bruce has on his wrist. The frown hardly lasts for more than a few seconds, however, and then he’s laughing. _Laughing_ , with a look of understanding in his eyes. It irritates Bruce. 

“Oh!” Joker can hardly spit out the words through his laughter. “I see.”

Bruce frowns, throwing Joker’s arm back at him. This caused him to sober up, rising from the bent over position he had assumed from cackling so hard. 

“I see.” Joker repeats, the mischievous glint in his eyes makes Bruce ball his hands into fists. “You were expecting me tonight, weren’t you?”

Bruce only stares. He wishes Joker had just taken a wild guess, that he didn’t have an uncanny ability to read him. Bruce had body language mastered, but no matter what he conveyed, Joker just seemed to… _know_. 

“If I had known, I would have shown up!” Joker pretends to pout, inching closer and closer to him. “Don’t be so disappointed, Baby.” 

Before Bruce has time to consider his actions, he’s grabbing the clown by his jacket and lifting him into the air. Joker’s hand immediately wrap around Bruce’s, trying to pry his fingers off. Despite his obvious opposition to being manhandled, Joker still laughs. 

“N-Now tell me, were you perched up on the manor all night waiting for me? Or were you inside enjoying the party?” He giggles through his words, never breaking eye contact. His eyebrows wiggle and he pulls a ridiculous face, like he knows something he shouldn’t. 

The clowns expression pulls Bruce out of his emotions. This is just a trick to get him riled up. He refuses to fall for it. Bruce releases the jacket, and Joker lands on his feet, only stumbling back slightly. 

“I don’t do parties.” Bruce forces out the words. Serious and blunt. 

Joker sighs and looks beyond Bruce thoughtfully. 

“Yes, I suppose that wouldn’t really be _The Batman’s_ scene.”

There’s only so many cryptic words Bruce can take from Joker before he snaps. His armored gauntlet connects with the side of Joker’s face and the clown falls lifeless to the ground. Without anyone watching him, Bruce allows himself to sigh. 

So much for getting answers tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back, bitches! sorry for the wait. bruce didn't learn much of anything in this chapter, but hey, that's life sometimes.


End file.
